blog 44 - Cerpeng versi Monsoon Cup

Mamat rase malassang nök bangung tiddo. Nye gulling-gulling atah katil. Pusing kiri, pusing kanang. Serba dök kene dia berase. Mök Lijöh blèbèr hanyaar kot luör pitu, “Mat! Matahari nök tinggi galöh döh nim, ka’ak rezeki kalu bangung lèwat-lèwat. Mung tak dök kheje ke ari nim?”

Dök tahang kene blèbèr Mamat Ppayang pong bikah bangung ceggat dari katil. Baru dia teringat pukol 11 ada kene wat kheje sikit hök Böh dia suroh kemarèng. Mamat pong jungaa tangang dia ambèk tuala. Pèsèngang mandi P. Ramlee pulök pagi nim, al maklunglah pukol 10.30 döh. Dari Manir nök jembe ke Jalang Batah Baru tu jauh jugök. Pah tu nök kena bereti stèsèng minyok Petronah pulök dekat sipang trapik lait Pulau Musang.. Döp ingat starang nok tamböh minyök kemarèng. Dök dang 10 minit Mamat siap belake döh. Minung air kopi-ö setegök dua lepah tu pakaa kasut kulit atah tangge kak lambo. Baru beli minggu lepah tu kasut tu. Bekilat ssiö! Lepah tu Mamat pong stak möto vroooooong hale ke bandö. Mötosika sèkèng hèng jer, tapi boleh tahanglah.

Jalang Batah Baru ader banyök bangunang jabbat dengang kedaa. Kalu hale ke depang sikit ada kedaa Astro, hök tv kene bayö bulang-bulang tu. Kalu tebèng dök bayö jer kena pötöng hanyaar. Lepah pada suraa Flat Batah Baru tu ada lèrèk kedaa èkong. Kedaa makang pong ada gök. Kalu jallang sikit lagi sebelum kedaa Astro tu, ada kawasang lapang tepat juaa khète baru cap Hyundaa dengang Kia.

Di antara kedaa èkong dengang kedaa Astro tu ada celöh-celöh tu jabbat löyar baru buka. Pèsèngang baru pah jadi löyar tu Mamat mari mmkir sörrang. Slo-slo Mamat naèk tikat dua. Napök gaye ader dua örang jer kherani. Llaki sörang, ppuang sörang. Boleh tahang hök ppuang tu. Tapi pakaa cicing molèk ngak kat jari manih tu. Ttunang döh pèsèngang tu.. Dök napök gambö starang. Berat nnanang. Mamat kabö ke kherani ppuang tu dia nök jjuper Tuang Löyar. Hayat hidup Mamat dök rajing jjuper löyar skali habuk. Cakkak dengang löyar jauh skali.. Nye mari debö wèh.

Mamat pong ketok pitu masok. Löyar tu tengöh pegang gagang talipung cap Panasonic kat telinga dia. Wayar talipung tu tengöh beseranggöh lagi. “I dah uruskan fixed deposit you sebanyak RM10 juta tu. Lagi satu, minggu depan ni, I nak you ikut I ke Singapore. HSBC Singapore dah buat arrangement untuk finance syarikat klien I, tak banyak, dalam 20 juta Sing dollar. Firm I jadi lawyer jugak tu. I turun KL minggu ni, kita dinner kat Shook di Starhill ok?”

Mamat bukang pandaa sangat cakak orang putih. Tapi bila dengö haa pitih die pahang. Mainang apa juta-juta nim? Mamat mari mmikir.

Löyar muder tu pong letök gagang talipung sambil-sambil kheling ujung mata tengök ke Mamat. “Yer, nök mender? Saya sibuk sangat ni, dök tengök ker?” löyar tu tanye Mamat.

Mamat pucat kesi. Dök tahu nök kata mende. Nök jawak salöh. Tak mboh jawak salöh. Macang mase nök bangung tiddo sakning. Serbe dök kene. Sudöhhang Mamat tebèng jugök jawak.

“Sebenörnyer tuang, sayer nim kheje dengang sarikat Teleköng. Saya mari nok sambung wayar talipung hök tuang wak lölök cakkak sakning. Dök sambung lagi wayar tu, guaner lah tuang boleh cakkak döh!”

Muka tuang löyar tu jadi biru hèrang!

Döh nök wat guana starang! Nök èksèng dök betepat! Ada jugök löyar kècèk orang dèh! Pecöh bo! Orang jamang lenim kata “kantoi”

..bliss-ailye shared her feelings at 1657..

blog 33 - kereta rosak.

Pada suatu malam yang hening dan sunyi di lebuhraya utara selatan kelihatan sebuah kancil putih tersadai di sebelah line kerosakan. Ada orang tua yang berdiri disebelahnya, pemilik kancil tu sedang berjalan kehulu kehilir cuba menahan kereta supaya membantu. Tidak ada sebuah kereta pun berhenti.

tiba-tiba datangla sebuah kereta evo 8 berhenti di sebelah kancil tadi.

"Ada apa nie pakcik,kereta rosak ke?" tanya pemuda berusia dalam lingkungan 20an.
"a'ha rosak "jawap pakcik tu simple aje....
"Ok,cam nie,saya ada tali nanti saya ikat kat kereta saya dan saya tarik kereta pakcik sampai tol "mamat nie bagi idea.
"worrait gak tu... tapi....nanti kalau pakcik rasa awak bawak laju pakcik akan hon dan bagi high beam".
"Ok pakcik".. mamat nie pun ikatlah tali kat kereta kancil didepan dan hujungnya diikat dibelakang bumper evonye.dia pun jalanla.. dengan slow dan berhati-hati.

Dalam lima kilometer mamat nie laju le sikit, apa lagi pakcik tu pun hon dan bagi high beam la kat mamat tu. Mamat tu pun slowkan balik..Tiba-tiba ada sebuah ferrari datang dari belakang dan press minyak kat mamat evo 8.apa lagi,jiwa muda patang dicabar, dia pun tekan la minyak rapat nak kejar ferrari nie...lupa la pulak dia dengan kancil org tua yg diikat kat belakang kereta dia.Orang tua tu punya la hangin satu badan, dia pun hon dan bagi hi beam bagai nak rak.

Mamat evo 8 tu dah tak sedar dah angin punya pasal.Kebetulan pulak polis ada buat speed trap kat bawah jambatan. Vrooommm. Bedesup peginye... ini dah lebih speed limit nie...kate polis nie.. Cecah 250km/j memasing nie... Dia pun contact la kengkawan dia kat depan supaya saman kereta-kereta yg laju nie...

"Over..over,ada tiga buah kenderaan memandu melebihi had laju, sebuah ferrari,sebuah evo 8 dan sebuah lagi kalau aku cakap korang mesti tak percaye punye.. Sebuah kancil putih tengah cucuk angin evo 8 tu.. kete kancil ngah bagi hon dan hi beam untuk nak potong kete evo tu!!!'

..bliss-ailye shared her feelings at 1656..

blog 25 - a father and a son

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....


For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.


For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients. Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.


For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

..bliss-ailye shared her feelings at 1511..

blog 13 - Kisah kakak dan adik.

got this forwarded mail. semenjak dua menjak, hati memang sgt rapuh.. sgt senang sayu. uh uh. sedih..


Aku cuma ada seorang adik. Usianya tiga tahun lebih muda daripada aku. Suatu hari, untuk mendapatkan sehelai sapu tangan yang menjadi keperluan anak gadis keti ka itu, aku ambil 50 sen dari poket seluar ayah.

Petang itu, pulang saja dari sekolah - ayah memanggil kami berdua.Dia meminta aku dan adik berdiri di tepi dinding. Aku menggeletar melihat rotan panjang sedepa di tangan ayah.

"Siapa ambil duit ayah?" tanya ayah bagai singa lapar.

Aku langsung tidak berdaya menentang renungan tajam mata ayah. Kedua-dua kami membisu,cuma tunduk memandang lantai.

"Baik,kalau tak mengaku,dua-dua ayah rotan!" sambung ayah sambil mengangkat tangan untuk melepaskan pukulan sulungnya ke belakang aku.

Tiba-tiba, adik menangkap tangan ayah dengan kedua-dua belah tangannya sambil berkata, "Saya yang ambil!"

Belum sempat adik menarik nafas selepas mengungkapkan kata-kata itu,hayunan dan balunan silih berganti menghentam tubuh adik. Aku gamam,lidah kelu untuk bersuara. Walau perit menahan sakit, setitis pun airmata adik tak tumpah.

Setelah puas melihat adik terjelepok di lantai, ayah merungut.

"Kamu sudah mula belajar mencuri di rumah sendiri. Apakah lagi perbuatan kamu yang akan memalukan ayah di luar kelak?"

Malam itu, emak dan aku tak lepas-lepas mendakap adik. Belakangnya yang berbirat dipenuhi calar-balar cuba kami ubati.Namun adik cukup tabah. Setitis pun air matanya tidak mengiringi kesakitan yang mencucuk-cucuk..

Melihat keadaan itu, aku meraung sekuat hati, kesal dengan sikap aku yang takut berkata benar.

Adik segera menutup mulutku dengan kedua-dua belah tangannya lalu berkata,"Jangan menangis kak,semuanya dah berlalu!"

Aku mengutuk diri sendiri kerana tidak mampu membela adik. Tahun bersilih ganti, peristiwa adik dibelasah kerana mempertahankan aku bagaikan baru semalam berlaku. Adik mendapat tawaran belajar ke sekolah berasrama penuh dan aku pula ditawarkan menyambung pelajaran ke peringkat pra-universiti.

Malam itu ayah duduk di bawah cahaya lampu minyak tanah bersama ibu di ruang tamu. Aku terdengar ayah berkata,

"Zah, kedua-dua anak kita cemerlang dalam pelajaran. Abang bangga sekali!"

"Tapi apalah maknanya bang…!" aku terdengar ibu teresak-esak.

"Dimana kita nak cari duit membiayai mereka?"

Ketika itulah adik keluar dari biliknya. Dia berdiri di depan ayah dan ibu.

"Ayah,saya tak mahu ke sekolah lagi!"

Perlahan-lahan ayah bangun, membetulkan ikatan kain pelekatnya dan merenung wajah emak,kemudian wajah adik dalam-dalam.

Panggggg….sebuah penampar singgah di pipi adik. Seperti biasa yang mampu aku lakukan ialah menutup muka dan menangis.

"Kenapa kamu ni? Tahu tak,kalau ayah terpaksa mengemis kerana persekolahan kamu, ayah akan lakukan!"

"Orang lelaki kena bersekolah. Kalau tak, dia takkan dapat membawa keluarganya keluar daripada kemiskinan," aku memujuk adik tatkala menyapu minyak pada pipinya yang bengkak.

"Kakak perempuan…biarlah kakak yang berhenti."

Tiada siapa yang menyangka, dinihari itu adik tiada dibiliknya.Dia membawa bersamanya beberapa helai baju lusuh yang dia ada. Di atas pangkin tempat dia lelapkan mata, terdapat sehelai kertas yang tercatat…..

"Kak…untuk dapat peluang ke universiti bukannya mudah. Saya cari kerja dan akan kirim wang buat akak."

Apa lagi yang saya tahu selain meraung. Ayah termenung, jelas dia cukup kecewa. Begitu juga emak yang menggunakan air matanya memujuk ayah.

Suatu petang ketika berehat di asrama, teman sebilik menerpa:

"Ada pemuda kampung tunggu kau kat luar!"

"Pemuda kampung?" bisikku. "Siapa?"

Tergesa-gesa aku keluar bilik. Dari jauh aku nampak adik berdiri dengan pakaian comotnya yang dipenuhi lumpur dan simen.

"Kenapa sebut orang kampung, sebutlah adik yang datang!"

Sambil tersenyum dia menjawab, "Akak lihatlah pakaian adik ni. Apa yang akan kawan-kawan akak kata kalau mereka tahu saya adik kakak?"

Jantungku terasa berhenti berdenyut mendengarkan jawapannya. Aku cukup tersentuh. Tanpa sedar, air jernih mengalir di pipi. Aku kibas-kibas bebutir pasir dan tompokan simen pada pakaian adik.

Dalam suara antara dengar dan tidak, aku bersuara, "Akak tak peduli apa orang lain kata."

Dari kocek seluarnya, adik keluarkan sepit rambut berbentuk kupu-kupu.Dia mengenakan pada rambutku sambil berkata, "Kak, saya tengok ramai gadis pakai sepit macam ni, saya beli satu untuk akak."

Aku kaku. Sepatah kata pun tak terucap. Aku rangkul adik dan dadanya dibasahi air mataku yang tak dapat ditahan-tahan.

Tamat semester, aku pulang ke kampung sementara menunggu konvokesyen.Aku lihat tingkap dan dinding rumah bersih, tak seperti selalu.

"Emak,tak payahlah kerja teruk-teruk bersihkan rumah sambut saya balik."

"Adik kamu yang bersihkan. Dia pulang kelmarin. Habis tangannya luka-luka."

Aku menerpa ke biliknya. Cantik senyum adik. Kami berdakapan.

''Sakit ke?" aku bertanya tatkala memeriksa luka pada tangannya..

"Tak….Kak tahu, semasa bekerja sebagai buruh kontrak, kerikil dan serpihan simen jatuh seperti hujan menimpa tubuh saya sepanjang masa.

Kesakitan yang dirasa tidak dapat menghentikan usaha saya untuk bekerja keras."

Apalagi…aku menangis seperti selalu..

Aku berkahwin pada usia menginjak 27 tahun. Suamiku seorang usahawan menawarkan jawatan pengurus kepada adik.

"Kalau adik terima jawatan tu, apa kata orang lain?" kata adik.

"Adik takde pelajaran. Biarlah adik bekerja dengan kelulusan yang adik ada."

"Adik tak ke sekolah pun kerana akak." kata ku memujuk.

"Kenapa sebut kisah lama, kak?" katanya ringkas, cuba menyembunyikan kesedihannya.

Adik terus tinggal di kampung dan bekerja sebagai petani setelah ayah tiada. Pada majlis perkahwinannya dengan seorang gadis sekampung, juruacara majlis bertanya, "Siapakah orang yang paling anda sayangi?"

Spontan adik menjawab, "Selain emak, kakak saya…."katanya lantas menceritakan suatu kisah yang langsung tidak ku ingati.

"Semasa sama-sama bersekolah rendah, setiap hari kami berjalan kaki ke sekolah.Suatu hari tapak kasut saya tertanggal. Melihat saya hanya memakai kasut sebelah, kakak membuka kasutnya dan memberikannya pada saya. Dia berjalan dengan sebelah kasut. Sampai di rumah saya lihat kakinya berdarah sebab tertikam tunggul dan calar-balar."

''Sejak itulah saya berjanji pada diri sendiri. Saya akan lakukan apa saja demi kebahagiaan kakak saya itu. Saya berjanji akan menjaganya sampai bila-bila."

Sebaik adik tamat bercerita, aku meluru ke pelamin, mendakap adik sungguh-sungguh sambil meraung bagaikan diserang histeria.

"Jika tak dapat apa yang kita suka,,belajarlah menyukai apa yg kita dapat…dan bersyukurlah dengan apa yang kita ada.."

..bliss-ailye shared her feelings at 1501..